Confuzzled Stories #5 - Coo Coo Cannibal

Coo Coo Cannibals

by S.M. McGee

I had been traveling for days.   I was tired, achy and hungry.  I was so close to my destination and I wanted to keep going but I finally gave in and sat on the nearest rock.  I was in a forest close to the center of our world.  I had been following a magical trail that was leading me to the reason of the most recent earth quake and answers to questions I had regarding the death of my mermaid friend, Lanna.

I pulled out some water from my pack and contemplated how much farther I had to go.  I pulled out my magic compass and said, “Lead me to my destination.” The arrow on the compass spun a couple times and then pointed straight ahead.

It was starting to get dark so I decided this was a good enough spot to camp for the night.  I pulled out my universal door knob found the widest tree put the knob in the wood and knocked.  A door appeared and I entered a fully furnished elven house. I sighed and relaxed on to the couch, “Home Sweet Hubble”.

I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up it was pitch dark and my nose was itchy.  I went to scratch it and realized my hands were tied together.  I started to panic and tried to get my bearings.  Normally elves have great night vision but this “darkness”  wasn’t the same it was magical darkness.  I tried to decide whether calling out would help me or hurt me.

I thought out my choices, I could try calling on fae who have magical light that brakes through magical darkness but the fae usually cause more trouble then help,  I also could teleport a few feet  ahead which would mean I would no longer be tied but I don’t know where I would be or if I could see and lastly I could just scream my head off and see if someone comes.  

Before I made my decision I hear a female voice say in old German, “tarchanjan” and the darkness rippled away.  In front of me was an elf with dreadlocks, wild hungry eyes tinted with redness.  I squinted trying to make sense of what I was seeing.   If my eyes were correct I was looking at my fellow elven college roommate, Tawny.

Four years ago Tawny had disappeared under questionable circumstances.  She had been studying a tribe for her thesis.  It was an ancient elven tribe known to be cannibals.  Each week she went to watch the tribe secretly and collect info.  Every week her stake outs became longer and longer.   Eventually she never returned it was assumed that she was consumed for dinner.

I did not like the way Tawny was looking at me.   I tried to spark up a conversation “Tawny?  Hey, it’s Rabbit!  You remember me right?”

At my name, Tawny, laughed at my name and repeated it,”Rabbit...tasty” She giggled

“What!?” I freaked “No Rabbit not tasty.  Rabbit friend!”

I started to struggle against my roped  limbs trying to loosing them.  Then I heard someone coming.

Walking towards us was the largest elf I had ever seen “Tawny.”  he said.  

Tawny turned around and smiled sweetly, she walked toward giant elf and and reached up to kiss him.  As she did this I realized what had become of Tawny.  She literally fell in love with her work even .. the cannibalism...eww.  

I assumed I was dinner and since I didn’t want that I spoke up.

“Alright I have seen enough!”  I said “Tawny you should really tell your parents your okay.”

She looked at me like she had no idea what I was saying.

I looked past the two cannibals elves into the trees and plants.  Once I had a good area I closed my eyes and pictured that spot in my mind and envisioned me there.   In a few seconds I was.  I turned to look back at my old friend/ roommate and ran for the closest magical safe haven I knew was in the area.  How did I know?  My heart told me so....well sort of.